Helping Others

 

Always have a willing hand to help someone, you might be the only one that does.

When I wake up in the morning, I'm used to checking my phone notifications. Today someone who just joined our team messaged me. We've spoken a few times and she seems to like talking to me. At first I never would have thought she wouldn't reach me because in our team, I guess I'm the oldest compared to the others.

It seems that this girl is young, passionate, wants to help and support others. At some of our previous convos she asked me maybe I could give her some tips on how the best way to do it. I just told her that she better try it by herself first and over time she will be able to understand the pattern and if there is anything she doesn't understand she can reach me or the others on the team.

This time she asked me if I ever felt that there everyone just wanted to chit chat and no one needed help or advice. When I read it, it honestly reminded me of the first time I was there. At that time I also felt the same as what she felt.

It took time for me to adjust and figure out which people were there, they were just there just to passing their time or they really needed advice or did they really need help they just didn't realize they needed help. I was there more than a year. Sometimes it sucks to find people just being there just passing their time.

My mind drifted to the one person I was helping. I've known him for about four to five months. At first this person was so secretive. The convo that we had was also just a stupid convo.

He was so secretive, I did the same. What was surprising was that he always came back to me whenever I was there. Over time I think he began to feel comfortable and put his trust in me. Suddenly out of nowhere one day he confided in me about his work problems.

After I gave my advice, I thought he would disappear as usual. What I didn't expect was that after that he was always looking for me. I asked him after a while, why he was always looking for me. His reason was simple that because he felt comfortable telling things he couldn't tell others but he could express everything that was on his mind to me. He never even thought that he could do that.

It took a long time for him to trust me. He repeatedly tested my patience and at first he even thought I was a catfish, a scammer. Recently I even found out that before he reached for me, he asked all the things about me to several people who knew me.

Since the first knowing him, I realized that he was someone who had trust issues and it was difficult for him to trust others. The more I got to know him, I could see that he was an overthinking person and some of the things that he still hadn't revealed to me showing to me that his past trauma affected him and caused him to be less confident. Another thing that made his situation worse was that he worked in another country. He's also an introvert which makes it all the more difficult for him.

It's not easy to tell if they're there just to pass their time or if they really need help and as in my case he didn't even realize that actually he needed help. He even realized that he needed help after he started talking to me a lot.

Honestly being able to help him, making him calm makes me happy. I know what it's like to be alone, terrified of not knowing what to do and I don't think I'd ever want anyone I know to go through the same thing as me.

I hope that girl can understand what I'm trying to explain to her. She will need some time to digest my words and some experience will help her to understand what I am trying to explain to her. I like that girl. I can sense that she sincerely wants to help others. To do something like that is not an easy thing. I just pray that the girl doesn't give up and stress.