Passive Autism

 

“Some people with autism may not be able to speak or answer to their name, but they can still hear your words and feel your kindness.”

Having a special child is not easy. My son was diagnosed with passive autism when he was in kindergarten. At that time the results of the report given stated that my son suffered from passive autism.

When he was still in my tummy, I almost lost him when I carried him in my fourth month of pregnancy. That period really drained my emotions, thoughts, soul and energy so when he was born, when the first time I carried him, I know he will be my everything, he will always be my world

Everything was perfect at first. Just like other babies, he looks handsome and very adorable. Since he was a baby, he never gave me any trouble. He's an easy baby for me to take care of and I'm determined to take care of him by myself because I really like babies and kids. Another reason is my pregnancy experience made me not want to lose all the moments with him.

The first few years actually some signs have started to appear but still not seen perfectly. His development is much slower than other kids. The most obvious thing was that he was quiet and it took him more than four years to speak clearly. He prefers to play alone, watch television often and if any kids his age approach him, he ignores them.

He prefers to be around me. He didn't talk much and didn't bother me much. When it was time for him to go to school, I put him in kindergarten. And it was there for the first time that I learned that he had passive autism.

Surprised? Shocked? Or Sad? Not at all...

I have lil bro who was diagnosed with the same thing. My experience helping to take care of him makes me at least not surprised if one day I run into the same situation. So when at that time my son was finally diagnosed with passive autism, I was ready for all that would happen in the future.

When he was a baby actually some of those signs had already appeared and I'm honestly starting to have indications that he had it. It's just that I'm still waiting for the right time to check it out.

I can still remember how the psychologist expression when he told me that news. His gaze was sad and he told me not to be sad, stay strong and never give up. At that time I just smiled as I told him "Thanks for the notification of the diagnosis". The psychologist's face changed he was shocked to see my response.

It could be because the psychologist often received a different response, that’s why his reaction like that to me.  At my place, autism is not something common. Those who have autism are still considered different from the others. Not many parents can accept the diagnosis that their child has autism, regardless of the type.

If in the past I didn't really care about my lil bro's condition. After knowing that my son has passive autism, I started to study and find out all the info about autism. I went to several other psychologists, googled on the internet looking for ways how to deal with someone who has passive autism.

My biggest challenge at that time was when he started school in elementary school. I put him in a public school. It's not that I don't want to put him in a special school, it's because I know in my area, if I put him in a special school he will be placed with children with disabilities instead of a school that specializes in autism and at that time I felt he was still capable even though I knew me and him will fight hard together because it will not be easy.

My son has difficulty being able to explain things, to speak clearly and has difficulty being able to write properly. The worst thing is because in my place autism is still not a common thing causing bullying to happen. I really prepared him since childhood to learn to deal with it because I know sooner or later in his life he will face it.

For six years he and I fought very hard to be accepted by society. Many times everyone doubted that he would be accepted in society. I can still remember that many of his school friends ostracized him, didn't want to be friends with him and belittle him.

I always wait for him at his school when he is studying. I have direct contact with his teacher so that I can coordinate well for his development. It all ended with all the teachers in his school knew me and knew that my son had passive autism.

One thing I noticed, he will only communicate with people who he has seen contact with me.

Once upon a time, a friend of mine, a parent at his school told me that she greeted my son and my son ignored her. After I investigated, it was because my son never saw her talking to me and that caused him to ignore her.

I made that a lesson for myself and since then I've always made sure he knew I was talking to a lot of people. I also want him to learn how to socialize with other people because I know that is one of his flaws.

Over time my son's development began to slowly improve. Until when he graduated from elementary school and entered junior high school, at that time I decided to see a psychologist again. I want to know how far he has progressed.

This time I decided to take him to a clinic that specializes in autism. This place is owned by one of the best state universities in my country. I'm lucky because this place is not far from my house.

At this clinic, we had to come several times because the test couldn't be done once. The first test was the psychologist interviewed him alone and then he had to run some other tests. I was also interviewed separately by the psychologist who worked on him.

For the final, my partner and I had to meet with the psychologist to discuss the results. The psychologist really put pressure on me to bring my partner with me. When she said that, I was sure that all of this would be related and to be honest that's what I wanted.

Sometimes not all parents can accept that their child is special and they demand and blame their child because they do not understand and cannot accept the fact that their child is a special child and needs special care.

When we came there, I was grateful that the psychologist said that the way I had been taking care of him for the past six years had at least made a good change. Although it will take time for me and him to keep things getting better but the psychologist said that for the time being his development is still on track. For my partner, the psychologist clearly knows that my partner's introverted character makes this hard for me and my son. She gave suggestions so that my partner can bond and connect more with him and accept that his son is a special child.

It's now been three years since the day I came to the clinic. Now he can cook herself, has some friends, he is able to express what he wants, his likes or dislikes and he can even help me with household tasks such as sweeping, cleaning the room and mopping the floor.

I know that our journey is still long. We still have a lot to fight for and we have to show the world that I can make him someone useful. I know he is someone special and I know that God has a reason why he gave that gift to me and to this day I have never regretted having him as my world and my pride.