Siblings Goal

 

I won’t say that your lessons were very easy to learn – but I will say that all of your lessons came at a time when I needed them the most

Everyone has their own perspective and whatever it is I always learn to appreciate and respect their perspective. Even though sometimes their perspectives are different from mine, but I have learned to accept, respect and understand them. I often have the experience of having different opinions with other people but I don't always stand up for mine. If their opinion is right and I am wrong, then I don't hesitate to admit that their opinion is right.

There are some people who have asked me, Am I never angry? Why can I be this patient? How can I have a mindset like this? How can I always understand someone? How can I understand their feelings?

I think it started because I have a lot of siblings and also an elder. In my family, they demand me to be the perfect elder. They never said it openly, but indirectly they demanded that I need to be perfect. For me being the oldest is not an easy thing. No one ever knows whether their destiny is to be born as the oldest, middle, last or maybe the only child.

Through my parents I learned to accept my destiny as an elder, I had to learn to be responsible for all my decisions, bear the decisions I had made myself and accept the consequences for the decisions I had made.

As an elder who has many siblings, since childhood I have accepted my destiny as someone who has to help my parents to take care of my siblings, taking responsibility for them. When they were teenagers, my role started to change a bit. I'm still watching them, protecting them, guarding them but in a different way.

Since I’m not only have one siblings. I learned to recognize the character of each of my siblings. Some are easily emotional, some are shy, some are brave and some are challengers. Each of them has a different way of expressing their emotions. The way to deal with them is also different. I can't use the same way to deal with them.  

When they were kids, through them I learned how to take care of them, how to take care of a baby and toddler. When they are teenagers, through them I learn someone's emotions, learn to understand, accept that they also have their own opinion and when they grow up, I learn to accept and respect someone.

If only I had never had them maybe if someone provoked my anger, I would have roasted them completely. The experience I had with them made me learn to control my emotions. It's a long process and through a long time.

If in the past, when we were kids, there weren't many lessons to be learned, but as time went on and we began to grow up, through them I learned that time, life experiences and their nature affect how one treats others.

I was with them not only one day or two days and I learned a lot through my relationship with them. Time has shown me that a person can change from someone who is compassionate to someone who is cruel as they go through their life journey. I also learned that even though they are siblings, it doesn't guarantee that when they grow up they will help each other.

They also often test my patience, make me lose control and trigger my anger but the good side is they also teach me that if I care and sincere to someone then that person will treat us the same maybe even better than that.

I started to feel the impact when I started moving out and not living with them anymore. I learned that in society there are many people who have traits like them. If only I had never faced and lived with them, I'm sure I would be completely shocked.

All the life experiences I had when I was with them really helped me when I started to enter society. When I meet and face various characters of people in society, I am grateful because my experience with them makes it not so easy for people to bully me.

My relationship has not always been smooth with them. There are several of my siblings who have different perspectives from me and made us end up on different paths. At first I learned to understand them, learned to accept their perspective and learned to give in for them but then over time I learned that sometimes we can’t always get everything that we want in life. Sometimes step away to avoid a much bigger fight or conflict way much better.

There are many life lessons that I can take through my life experiences with them, they taught me so that I can now be who I am today. I am also not a perfect person and in fact far from perfect. I'm just trying to learn from the experiences and mistakes I've made and try not to make the same mistakes for the umpteenth time.