Toxic friend

 

“No Friendship can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever”

By establishing friendships we can see various kinds of human traits and characters. Getting to know them more deeply allows us to know what kind of people we are friends with.

This time I want to talk about toxic friendships. I have several times had the experience of making friends with people who could be categorized as toxic. When I first met them, I couldn't even recognize that they were toxic. They look sincere, fun and cool to be friends with.

This time I will share my perspective about toxic friends based on my real life. When I was a teenager, at that time I still didn't really understand what a toxic friendship was. All I know is that several times I have had friends, ended in enmity or they badmouthed me.

At that time I always blamed myself, that I was not good enough and could not understand them. In my mind maybe they really did that because maybe I was the one who made the mistake, it's just that I didn't realize all that. I thought maybe I was the one who really couldn't make friends or have a good relationship with them so all of that happened.

Over time I began to learn to better understand the character of others. I'm not someone who likes to judge other people and likes to make assumptions about other people. I'd rather get to know that person day by day.

I learned through my experience that a person's first impression can sometimes be deceiving. What they at that time described themselves to me for the first time was not necessarily who they really were.

The experiences of my youth that make me much more patient and understanding in dealing with all these things. Everytime I got to know someone they maybe were fun at first and after being with them day after day, I could see that they were the type who only cared about themselves and not trying to maintain their friendship with others.

I've had an incident where in front of me they look sweet, kind and it turns out that behind me they stabbed me in the back. It didn't just happen to me once or twice. I didn't even think that such a person could do such a cruel thing.

They can even blame me just because they were upset with their day, pissed off with their life and taking it out on me yet without feeling guilty. They can do without apologizing and the next day they seem to have lost their memories and act like normal again.

They can hurt me with their words and they can even defend themselves to prove that I was wrong instead of them. They can convince other people to support them and turn other people against me also. They can even reverse the facts and scapegoat me so that I end up being blamed.

Am I never angry with their treatment of me? I'd be lying if I never got upset or sometimes I even surprised when they treated me that way. While I was socializing, I tried to maintain a good relationship with them, trying to understand them in hopes that our friendship would last a long time.

But then I realized that people's nature is different, their lives are different and how they deal with any situation is different. Even if I try my best to maintain the friendship but if they are in fact trying to destroy the friendship whether they realize it or not, I won't be able to do anything.

It would be a lie if sometimes what they did to me didn't trigger me. But I know that fighting them is pointless. Trying to prove the truth that they are right or I am right one? Only time can show and prove all that.

I learned from my experience that sometimes it takes a long time to realize that what they did was a mistake. Being like that to other people is not a good thing and it took them a long time to realize all of that.

If because of them makes me to stay away from getting to know new people, I think I'm the one who loses if I do that. They will never care about anything I do or think as long as they are comfortable with their lives. If I try to maintain a good relationship while they don't have the same intentions as me then things will still not end well.

There have been some experiences that took years for them to finally reach out for me and admit they were wrong and end up apologizing to me. There are also those who admit but because their self-esteem is too high, it ends with them avoiding me and every time they meet me they will act like we don't know each other.

Over time I learned that things are often imperfect. Toxic friends will always be in this world. Everyone will probably have that experience. Maybe toxic friendship is there to make us learn that in life we ​​will often meet such people and so that we are not surprised and know how to deal with such people.

Whatever their intentions are to be friends with me, I will still show my good intentions to be friends with them. I just want to show them that not everyone in this world thinks only of themselves or makes friends with other people just for my personal satisfaction or just to use them.